


something to believe in

by joshdunfanatic



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cheating, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:10:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7293397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshdunfanatic/pseuds/joshdunfanatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i don't really know how to summarize this... but it's not as bad as it sounds</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from something to believe in by young the giant  
> this story may be triggering as there's ED and implied self harm. but it's my personal experiences, so i didn't sugar coat anything.
> 
>  
> 
> update:  
> one of my friends has been faking ed, anxiety, and depression and it's really ticking me off. she's not mean, but it really hurts to see someone making a joke out of your disorder. she tells people that she's anorexic, has been since she was seven, had her period stop, and eats less than 100 calories a day, despite consuming around 500 calories during lunch. i feel as though people don't take those of us with eating disorders seriously, and she's only contributing to that.   
> i wanted to write something that wouldn't glamorize ed, as it's often dismissed as a joke or a disease used to get attention.

"Well," Josh said with a raised eyebrow as Tyler sat down with his Redbull and taco, "That's one way to pack on the pounds." Josh chuckled, and Tyler forced a laugh, though his taco didn't seem as appetizing as it had before. Nevertheless, Tyler was famished, as they had just finished an intense gig. With shame, Tyler forcefully shoved the taco down his throat, and grabbed his drink before Josh interrupted him. "Someone's hungry, aren't you TyGuy." Tyler looked down at his feet, his cheeks turning a crimson color. Was he hungry? He didn't know the difference between hunger and boredom anymore. "Excuse me," Tyler murmured, "Could I please leave?" He pointed to the bathroom. Josh nodded, though his mind had obviously drifted elsewhere.  
Tyler locked the bathroom door shut and started hyperventilating. Voices taunted him, calling him fat and disgusting. He looked at the toilet bowl, the water in it was a green that looked swampy enough for Shrek to live in. Tyler sighed, but he knew there was no other choice. He shuddered, knowing the hard taco shell wouldn't come up easily. He crawled to the toilet bowl, and forcefully shoved his fingers down his throat. He gagged, and the taco came out. His food tasted like bile and shit. He didn't want to eat anymore. He didn't want to shove greasy pieces of calorie packed shit down his throat just to have it come up a few minutes later. He was tired of food, but he could never be tired of the feeling that came along with eating. Tyler loved the high and the taste of rich calories. "Tyler!" Josh called. "What are you doing in there." Tyler panicked, he tried to flush the toilet, but it wouldn't go down. He grabbed toilet paper and dropped it into the toilet bowl to cover up his disgusting puke. He washed his hands, but the smell wouldn't ever go away. The smell is always there along with the dry hair and chipmunk cheeks.  
"Tyler," Josh called again, "You're okay, right?"  
"I'm fine," Tyler called, lying through his teeth.

"What the fuck happened in there, man?" Josh questioned. "You look like death."  
Tyler smiled, but he was freaking out inside. Did he look like death?  
"I just couldn't handle the taco," he said, "It was too much cheese for me."  
Josh paused, then smirked. "Man," he said, "I've gotta go purge after that meal."  
That was it for Tyler. "I've gotta go home to Jenna," he muttered. He twisted his wedding ring uneasily.  
Josh looked crestfallen. "But duuuudeee, it's only 8:00."  
"I've gotta go make dinner for her," Tyler said. That was a lie, he hadn't had dinner with Jenna since they had been married.  
"I have to go. Bye, Josh."  
Tyler pushed the door of Taco Bell open, not bothering to look back. Tears streamed down his face, and he blindly stumbled to his car. He drove home, ready for another night with a woman he didn't love anymore.


	2. you played the game, though it's unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheated and lied, broken so bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk. this fic is kinda really shitty, but it's more a vent fic than anything else, so i probably won't correct grammar or revise it.

josh pretended.  
he pretended he loved playing the same songs every fucking night. he pretended he loved debby. he pretended he didn't see the way tyler looked at food. he pretended he didn't hear the sounds coming out of the bathroom after tyler ate. he pretended he didn't love tyler. he pretended he didn't see the way debby looked at jenna. he pretended he loved being in the background of the tyler show, where everyone noticed tyler's problems but ignored josh's.  
josh was staring at tyler, who was staring at his taco. josh heard himself make a mean spirited comment, and pretended he didn't see tyler look down in shame. he pretended he didn't hear tyler puking. he pretended he didn't make a joke about purging, knowing damn well tyler had just purged. and he pretended that when he downed his 5th bottle that he wasn't lonely.  
when he got a call from jenna at 5:00 in the morning, sobbing about tyler, he pretended he wasn't happy that he was needed.


End file.
